Tag Archives: Fibromyalgia

Welcome to Chronic Pain: Ten Tips For the Newly-Diagnosed

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For those of us who’ve been living with ME/CFS or fibromyalgia or any other chronic pain condition for a few years, it might be hard to recall those early days after we were first (finally!) diagnosed.

But for those people who have just gone through that experience, you may be feeling a myriad of competing emotions, stirred together and topped off with a healthy measure of “What the heck do I do now?”

Here are ten tips to help you manage the confusion and overwhelm following a diagnosis of a chronic pain condition.

1: Understand Your Chronic Pain

While it’s unquestionably true that the experience of a chronic pain condition can vary drastically from person to person, you should take time now to find out what you’re dealing with, as soon as possible. Find out as much as you can about the “usual” progression of your disease or condition, as well as the range of symptoms and associated conditions you might expect along the way.

Knowing what to expect is important when you’re beginning a long journey with a new condition. You’ll find out soon enough that every new ache and pain and discomfort can soon make you nuts, wondering “Is this something to worry about? Or is this just part of my condition?”

If you can get as much information as possible at the outset, you can save yourself some anxiety, and make better decisions about your medical care.

2: Stay As Active As Possible

Study after study shows the benefits of light exercise for chronic pain patients. (Just this week, we hear news of a study showing adolescents with fibromyalgia experience less pain if they maintain some level of activity — Doctor’s Guide, via Fighting Fatigue.

Good choices for those living with chronic pain conditions include walking, swimming, yoga, and Pilates. Start with a one-on-one class, if you can — and if your area is lucky enough to have such a person, find a teacher with experience dealing with students who have chronic pain conditions. (Tip: Identify all area yoga teachers, for example, then call each studio and ask if any teacher there has dealt with your disease or condition, either personally or through students.)

For more on getting an exercise program in place while you’re coping with chronic pain, see my recent post “Exercise and Fibromyalgia: A Love/Hate Affair.”

3: Make New Friends Who Know What You’re Going Through

Support groups can help — but they can also hurt. Be careful with this one.

Here’s why: How we talk to ourselves about our pain has a definite, measurable effect on our perception of that pain. Given that we all have a right to put a voice to our pain, to tell our stories and have them understood, a support group would be a natural way to explore that process.

However, the catch is that when we all tell our similar-yet-different stories, we’re all susceptible to a perceived or real increase in pain.

So, it’s important to find a group that encourages healthful, positive ways of dealing with the disease.

This is not to say that you should tell your story only to Pollyannas, who will then tell you to smell the roses and just get moving or try this, that, or the other alternative treatment and you’ll be right as rain. That, to my way of thinking at least, would be worse than being hyper-aware of my pain, frankly.

What I am saying is this: look for a group that focuses on solutions — that allows its members to freely discuss their stories and rant and rave if they like, but that, in the final analysis, wants to help each other do better.

That’s real support. Otherwise, it’s just a bitch session over coffee and for that? I have my best friend.

4: Keep A Wellness Log to Track Your Symptoms

Get in the habit of keeping a daily record of your symptoms, together with any factor that can affect your experience of your pain. You can do this in a computer file — a plain text document, for instance, or an Excel spreadsheet if you’re feeling really ambitious.

Or you can get a simple flip-top reporter’s moleskine, which is what I use. Here’s an example of this model, from Amazon (affiliate link).

At a minimum, you should track:

  • Your daily food intake
  • All medications, including time and dosage
  • All supplements you take, including time and dosage
  • Your sleep — duration and quality
  • Your activity level, including household chores and more formal exercise
  • Any significant alterations in mood and stress level
  • And, of course, your symptoms, preferably ranked on some sort of numerical scale

A note about pain perception scales: whether you use the traditional “1 to 10” or some other model, ranking your pain is not about minimizing it or defining it. Rather, it’s merely a useful tracking tool for you and your physicians to be able to see changes over a period of time.

For instance: if you experience a flare-up within 24 hours after you attend a particularly strenuous yoga class, and this continues to occur as a pattern, you can make an informed choice about whether a more slow-paced or restorative class focus might be more beneficial to you.

5: Talk To Your Family & Significant Other About Your New Journey Together

Get those close to you on board with the concept of this new experience as a marathon, not a sprint. It will affect all of you, and you should start now to cultivate a habit of open, honest communication with them about your condition.

Sit down with them for an extended “family meeting” and make sure you cover the following points at a minimum:

  • Your diagnosis
  • Your prognosis
  • Likely symptoms you may experience — even if you’ve had them already, you need to make sure they understand, very simply, how you feel
  • What they can expect from you
  • What you need from them

Cultivate a “team approach” right from the start, and then when things inevitably get more stressful down the line, you’ll all feel more comfortable having an honest talk about it sooner rather than waiting until feelings reach the boiling point.

6: Monitor Your Sleep

Changes in your condition often manifest first in your sleep patterns. Note these changes on a daily basis in your wellness log, but also pay attention to your “sleep hygiene” — the practices and “rituals” you’ve developed, sometimes unconsciously, surrounding your nightly sleep.

In many cases, simple adjustments in your nighttime rituals can enhance the quality of your sleep. But first, you have to know what you’re doing now.

Take note of whether you read or watch television; what you read or watch; what music you listen to; the temperature of the water if you take a bath; how close to bedtime you last ate or drank anything; how often you get up to go to the bathroom at night …

These and other factors can indicate a potential problem with your sleep patterns, and you can then work to change those rituals to increase your body’s chances to heal itself while it rests.

7: Revise Your Expectations of Yourself

While I don’t advocate thinking of yourself as a victim or a patient, you will have to wrap your brain around a changed reality, at least for the time being.

Normally, by the time you reach a diagnosis, you’ve already had some period of time where you’ve experienced the pain symptoms. But it’s all too human to think “This is just temporary. As soon as I find out what it is, I can cure it and I’ll feel all right again.”

Of course, everyone hopes that’s the case. But the sad truth is that with most chronic pain conditions, we have no cures. We have treatments, and many of them may offer substantial relief.

But even the mere act of finding those treatments that are successful for your disease can be quite exhausting. So lower your expectations of yourself for awhile, while you get acquainted with your condition and your changed reality.

8: Clear Your Plate

Healing from a chronic pain condition takes an awful lot of energy. Don’t let self-imposed feelings of obligation diffuse that energy unhelpfully.

Think carefully about obligations you’ve incurred in the past, and ask yourself a hard question: If this obligation presented itself to me today, would I say “yes”, knowing it takes energy and time away from my efforts to heal?

Some obligations you can’t — and don’t want to — give up. Although child care is a taxing prospect even for the perfectly healthy, for instance, I’d never let my child live somewhere else, even though she has many relatives who love her dearly and would care for her if I couldn’t.

The truth, for me, is that caring for my daughter gives me as much joy and pleasure as it takes away in energy or time. So — again, for me — this is not an acceptable obligation to walk away from.

But a great many of your obligations can and should be renegotiated. Your priority must be your own health. Don’t just give lip service to this idea. Do yourself the honor of making this a true commitment, and let go of those things that impede your progress where you can.

9: Practice Radical Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is about to take on a whole new meaning for you.

Radical self-care is all about protecting yourself, knowing that when we put ourselves first, we are then more capable of helping others.

Radical self-care is a concept that deserves a more thorough treatment than a single mention in one post, and it’s a favorite topic of mine that I’ll address in more depth in future posts. For now, just be aware of what it encompasses:

  • Eating the highest-quality whole foods you can afford and drinking the most healthful beverages only
  • Taking total care with and paying perfect attention to your medications and supplements
  • Dedicating sufficient hours to restful sleep in the most serene, comforting environment you can manage to create
  • Daily meditation (and prayer, if it comports with your spiritual beliefs)
  • Daily movement and light exercise — always honoring your limits
  • Integrity in your commitments to yourself
  • Managing your expectations of yourself
  • Maintaining positive self-talk (see the next item in this article)
  • Practicing impeccable hygiene on a daily basis

10: Learn and Change Your Inner Monologue

The words we use in our thoughts and the long-running “tapes” that keep playing in our heads have real, concrete effects on our physical lives.

Pay some cold, hard attention to the inner monologue you’ve got running now. Is it full of hopelessness and despair? Is it based on fear?

If so, welcome to the human race. It’s only natural, once the giddiness of finally obtaining a name for the mysterious beast you’ve been fighting for so long evaporates, to find yourself focusing on the end game and wondering just how long you’re going to have to struggle with this pain.

While it’s perfectly understandable, and you should absolutely acknowledge and deal with all your feelings, including the so-called negative ones, you should take care not to allow those feelings to become the source of your inner self-talk.

Take some time every day to counteract those normal feelings of anxiety and worry with positive imagery and messages.

Tell yourself the truth — you don’t know how long this will last but you are doing everything humanly possible to manage it and heal from it. You’re taking radical care of yourself, you’ve put yourself and your own wellbeing ahead of everything, you’re in the process of renegotiating obligations that prevent your healing, and progress is being made every single day in the fight against chronic pain.

Let that be your gift to yourself. It really does help keep your energy and your spirits up — and yes, it does make a difference in how you manage and deal with your chronic pain.

To all my fellow old-timers, what did I miss? What advice would you give the newly diagnosed? Leave your suggestions in the comments!

Sirena Dufault: A Walking Inspiration for Fibromyalgia and Other Chronic Pain Patients

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Sirena Dufault on the Arizona Trail to promote fibromyalgia awareness

Sirena Dufault on the Arizona Trail to promote fibromyalgia awareness

It’s amazing in itself, even without the backstory: Sirena Dufault, a 35-year-old woman from Tucson, Arizona, is hiking an 800-mile path called the Arizona Trail, start to finish.

What’s inspiring about it for me and thousands of others like me: Sirena has fibromyalgia.

For ten years now, Sirena has been living a life that’s familiar to all of us who’ve received that diagnosis — a life of pain, of medication, of seeking any and all treatments promising relief, of compromises and limitations.

Yet Sirena has undertaken something precious few of us could even begin to consider in our own lives: a massive, difficult physical challenge. And she’s doing it to raise awareness of what we’re forced to live with on a daily basis.

You can follow Sirena’s trip, which she plans to finish up on May 12, National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, here at her blog. You can also read this article about Sirena’s hike for fibro at the Tucson Citizen (free registration required).

I have more to share on Sirena’s inspirational example in tomorrow’s post. Make sure to come back around noon on Friday, May 8th, to read more about movement, FMS, and courage.

Fibromyalgia and Dr. Unbeliever: A Horror Story From Texas

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@PaperBackChic on Twitter alerted the world to this story, which is linked to off the main FMS Community page.

I read it, and was appalled — you will be, too. (Or should be.) I also have questions, but first, let’s recap. From the page, which is titled “Fibromyalgia — A Horror Story,” we gather the following salient points — the names have been changed, according to the unnamed author of the piece:

  • Rita, the patient in question, has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a thyroid condition, and diabetes. She also has IBS (irritable bowel syndrome, which is often associated with fibromyalgia).
  • She approached the doctor in question (“Dr. Jones”) for treatment of the thyroid condition. However, Dr. Jones also knew about her earlier FMS diagnosis.
  • On an early visit, despite exhibiting some symptoms suggestive of cardiac issues, the doctor sent her husband to get an OTC medication. Yet when the husband himself showed up at another point sweating profusely, the doctor immediately ordered several tests (I’m assuming to rule out cardiac trouble).
  • The doctor told Rita that his best friend has ALS and that Rita had no right to “whine” about her problems, the clear implication being that ALS is a real disease but FMS … isn’t?
  • Despite several therapists and psychologists concurring that Rita had no psychological issues, other than the mild and occasional depressive episode that accompanies nearly all chronic pain conditions, Dr. Jones repeatedly insisted that Rita had some sort of psychological disorder. This insistence apparently was the primary focus of her visits with this doctor, instead of the thyroid treatment she had sought from him.
  • Ultimately, after an abusive visit, Rita lost her cool and said “Maybe I should stop taking my medications and die. Then maybe an autopsy would prove that I am sick!”
  • That was all the ammunition this doctor needed to have Rita held on a 72-hour suicide watch in a local mental health facility based on his insistence that she was bipolar and a danger to herself and/or others.

I won’t go into the horrors of that situation. Anyone with half a brain can imagine. All I can think right now is, “Here we go again.” But before I rant, a warning to all chronic pain patients — and a “Yeah BUT” to that warning, which is just as important — so promise me you’ll read both, OK? OK — here’s the warning:

If you say ANYTHING in front of a doctor that could potentially be interpreted as a threat to kill yourself, or harm anyone else — even if it’s said off the cuff, or in jest — you could be subjected to a hold just like Rita was.

Just don’t do it. Ever. Now, here’s the Yeah BUT:

If you are feeling suicidal, you need to tell your therapist or doctor immediately and ask for help.

I hope that makes sense. Where Rita went wrong was in assuming that Dr. Jones would act rationally, even after his refusal to treat her for the problem she came to him for — the thyroid treatment — made it patently clear that he was not rational.

Rita should also have bolted the minute this idiot opened his mouth to denigrate her, or her condition. The second he didn’t at least make an inquiry into a possible cardiac issue with her symptoms.

Am I being too tough on Rita? No, not at all — I hope it’s clear to all that the problem here was Dr. Jones, not Rita.

But here’s the thing, friends: There are LOTS of Dr. Joneses out there, and they cannot be allowed to treat us. As soon as you know or even have reason to suspect that you’ve found an Unbeliever, you need to leave.

I know it’s unfair. It’s putting the responsibility on you, the patient, instead of (pardon me) the asshole who’s causing the problem. You shouldn’t have to go find another doctor to treat you like a human being with rationality and respect.

But you do, and you must.

Guys — by which I mean ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages and their parents — we can no longer afford to mollycoddle these medical pretenders providers. I used to think the unbelievers were a small minority — a vocal one, to be sure, but small enough to ignore.

Then came the NY Times article questioning the “realness” of our very real disease. Then came another piece, this one by CNN. And now, with Rita’s story — with the story recently of a woman suffering from FMS who will go down in history as the first person in the UK with “fibromyalgia” as the cause of her death, all because her Dr. Jones thought she was crazy, too — well, folks, the conclusion is inescapable:

We are at war.

And it’s time we (by which I mean all chronic pain patients ) started getting a little more assertive about our rights and our health.

Honor Your Limits? Or Refuse to Accept Them? Some Thoughts on Chronic Pain and Personal Beliefs

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When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, my reaction was surprising, even to myself. I felt this overwhelming sense of relief, pure and giddy relief. Far from being devastated by the incurable nature of the illness, or the lack of any dependable treatment (this was 10 years ago), I was so overcome with gratitude to finally, at long last, have a name for what I’d been feeling for so many months.

Since then, I’ve discovered this isn’t an uncommon initial reaction. Lots of us have been battling for so long with the naysayers, the ‘it’s all in your head’-ers, the ‘you’re just tired’-ers — not to mention the utter lack of information — that by the time we finally achieve that diagnosis and have a word to put to the horrid aches and myriad other symptoms we’ve been dealing with, we truly are relieved.

But after diagnosis, my emotional reactions to this illness’s ups and downs have been all over the map. Flares don’t always make me feel hopeless, and remissions aren’t always accompanied by contentment and joy. One emotion — or perhaps it’s better termed a belief — has been constant, though: my refusal to call myself “sick” and live squarely in the confines of my limitations.

Until now.

I’ve always been a fairly optimistic person, and when I first started dealing with fibro as a life-constant, I brought that same attitude to my treatment and daily coping techniques. I can’t say for sure that it made my experience of the pain and other symptoms any different. But somehow, I admit, it felt a bit … virtuous. As if I was “rising above” the illness.

Lately, however, the illness has risen above me. Risen above, and done a body slam on my ass, keeping me pinned to the mat. Or the bed. Or the couch. Or wherever I end up collapsing at ever-earlier hours of the ay.

A few years into my search for conservative treatments (read: anything other than prescription drugs) I read about something called “Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy.” I’d been into yoga for a few years at this point, so this appealed to me. The idea, basically, was that a therapist/yoga instructor would work with you one-on-one, while you did yoga asanas (poses), adjusting your body and giving you light massage.

I called and made an appointment, and during our first conversation on the phone, the therapist was explaining her approach. “It’s important that we not go too far too fast, so we have to take this slowly,” she said. This rang all kinds of alarm bells for me. I blurted out, “Yeah, but my goal is to get better. I refuse to accept these limits.”

There was silence on the line.

“Hmm. I’m sure you agree it’s not smart to push yourself.”

I mumbled something like “Yeah, sure.” But the next day I canceled the appointment. I can’t explain the reaction I had to the woman’s statement. It offended me, as if she were trying to put me in a cell, or something. I know, obviously, that she was just expressing the philosophy of yoga, where it’s not about pushing the envelope but playing at the edge, and not about competition ever, even with yourself.

What I was saying was that I wanted to beat fibro — not just transcend it, but beat it, maybe literally, into the ground.

What she was saying was “this is your reality, and you can transcend it but you can’t beat it.”

And I wasn’t ready to hear it.

It got me wondering today, now that I’m several months into this … this whatever the heck this is — monster flareup? relapse from hell? — I wondered how others felt about it. So I asked the fibro-fab ladies (and one fibro-fab dude) on Twitter: “Do you honor your limits, or refuse to accept them?”

And here are some of the responses I got, all of which resonate with me deeply:

I tell everyone I know with pain to “listen to your body”, then I go & overextend my limits every time! I’m my own worst enemy.

I used to refuse to accept my limits until I wore myself down to a point where I was bedridden & completely dependent on some1. now I have learned 15 yrs later what my limits are & try to keep within them. Sometimes I push it but for the most part I dont.

I have to honor my limits. If I don’t, I wind up…well, kinda like I’ve been the past few days, totally flaring miserable!

[S]omething in between. I decide just what is worth it and what isn’t. I am not a hero.

More of the keep doing stuff until I fall over the cliff of my limits kinda guy myself. I know there there, but….aaaaaaaahhhh

What about the rest of you? Do you honor your limits or deny and push past them? What effect does it have on your experience of your symptoms?

I don’t know that I have any answers, by the way. I’m still struggling to make sense of this myself. For nine years, I adapted and adjusted and was functional. Then, last year, the rug got pulled out from under me, and I’m still trying to find my footing.

UPDATE: Almost as soon as I posted this, an email from Yoga Journal arrived in my inbox with these almost scarily prescient comments:

Are You Working Too Hard?

As hatha yogis, we work earnestly to find peace through the mind-body connection. The fruits of our practice are a direct result of the quality of our time on the mat, rather than the quantity.

If we allow our ego to lead our practice, we run the risk of overefforting and creating agitation in the mind and injury in the body. If we practice with humble curiosity and compassion for ourselves, then our bodies, breathing, and minds are more likely to become calm and peaceful.

Updating The Tramadol Diaries Resources List

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If you haven’t checked out the list of web resources for chronic pain survivors here on The Tramadol Diaries, I’d like to encourage you to do so now. Take a look, and tell me what I’ve left off. I know there are tons of sites out there, but I need your help identifying the best, most reliable, and current blogs and websites that pertain to chronic pain, or to any individual chronic pain condition.

Today, I updated the list with a few medical information sites pertaining to fibromyalgia and ME/CFS. I’m especially interested in hearing from patients of other illnesses who can tell me what sites have helped them in particular. So, take a look at the resources list, then drop me a line through the contact form on this site and tell me: what did I miss?

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Is Fibromyalgia Degenerative Or Not?

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When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, my doctor (who, I’ll add, never-not-once implied the pain was all in my head) told me the disease was non-degenerative — meaning that as bad as it might get, it would not get continually worse over time. I clung to this like a drowning rat to a deck chair off the Titanic.

But now, I’m reading some things that suggest maybe the good doctor was misinformed. For instance: Dr. Mark J. Pellegrino. Now, in addition to being named after an awesome and overpriced imported water, Dr. Pellegrino both treats patients with, and suffers from himself, fibromyalgia. He even wrote a pretty helpful book called Fibromyalgia: Up Close and Personal . (Full disclosure: that’s an affiliate link and I’ll get, like, thirteen cents if you buy it from this link. Or something.) The guy knows fibro backwards and forwards, you might say. Dr. P. had this to say recently in an interview with ProHealth.com:

Q: Doctor, in your experience does fibro get worse over time or does it get better as you get older?

Dr. Pellegrino: In my experience from seeing more than 20,000 people with fibromyalgia over the past 20 years, I can say:

• About a third of the people do better over time,

• A third of the people stay the same,

• And a third of the people get worse.

So that means that two-thirds of the people will not get worse which is good.

Those who are diagnosed quickly after developing fibromyalgia symptoms and tried different treatments and find successful treatments are more like to do better over time. As we all get older, we tend to develop other conditions from degenerative factors, wear and tear, injuries, etc. that cause pain and can make fibromyalgia even more painful.

I think the key is not necessarily trying to get better, but trying to have a stable baseline where one’s function is good and a good quality of life is reported.

Now, obviously, this is one doctor’s experience. Granted, it’s extensive experience, but still — anecdotal. However, if a third get worse — even if it were somehow implausibly just his third — well, that’s a horse of a different color, as my father used to say.

This question is important to me personally because I have experienced such a downturn in my health in the last 12 months or so. Most of this downturn I can directly attribute to the other chronic conditions, but I also know fibro pain from my general back pain. I can tell which is which, and what I’m feeling is not just bad back pain. The fibro, when it flares, is definitely getting worse — although I haven’t seen a significant increase in the frequency of flareups, so that’s something, I suppose.

So what I want to know is this: what’s the general consensus? Is there a general consensus? Or is this disease as maddeningly unpredictable universally as it is individually?

Stupid fibro.